Eastern Turkey, a year or two later:
Chris: …The migraines were terrible. I determined that this migraine problem must be resolved. Medical therapy hadn’t worked very well, so I would try spiritual pilgrimage.
Over a period of months, in meditation, I located a place along the eastern border of Turkey that held promise. I would make pilgrimage there. A group of friends would join me part of the way. We were to meet on the island of Corfu to commence a liturgy of healing for the world and empowerment to effect our gifts as ministers.
We met on Corfu to construct a liturgy of healing in the “Game of Being.” Lila. It is the game of Love. The divine play of creation; the game of life and death and life. We did it near a place that one among us described as “vile” with an horrible energy. I don’t think it was evil, but a powerful place, not pleasant or easily approached. This is the third dragon. (Assisi was the first, Kasmir the second.)
[The dragon motif represents not only the general reference to “Nature” but a localization of “Grace”, the “Divine Energies.” It is also a “spirit animal familiar” for me. Thus, it represents the comparison of motifs of divine or spiritual intervention.]
After our ritual on that island, I parted with the last of the “Corfu Company” at Delphi. Then, I stood alone outside Le Vadia, a country railway station in Greece, and was struck with a sense of kind simplicity that is the ambiance of all our endeavors. I was on my way to Thessalonika then Turkey via Pythia as it will say on my ticket. I’d just left the Pythian oracle at Delphi where visions and dreams were kind to me. The journey continued in kindness across Turkey, kindness in the people I met, kindness of the God who provided the way and at the last moment in the mountains east of Kars, a fellow traveler, a guide who for the moment was obsessed to show me the “Akchekale”, the “White Castle.” I knew that this was the place I sought. It was a long way from civilization on a promontory above a deep river canyon…
My guide took me there, then after returning to the village, we parted. I didn’t see him again.
After a night of energizing, urgent dreams, I returned there alone next morning. Behind these ancient ruins of a castle, I sat alone in my ritual before the gathered flowers that sang their pure violet to the sacred fire and the devil-chasing bell that sang to silence, taking my song along with it. In that deserted, white castle, outside its dark tower, between an abandoned well and razed church, in that place unvisited much, even by Turks much less tourists, a wind blew up the river-cut chasm thousands of feet down, then everything fell away,
the Word, whispered across perception… and it seemed at that moment that I had died,
for how could human biology contain such love. It would have evoked a similar response, I believe, for Buddhist, Christian, Moslem, shaman or priest, I believe, for it was the heart of creation.
There in that place of an ancient wound, the sacred fire was invoked and some creature roared its cry—a terrible sound that tore through the canyon. This was the fourth dragon.
This travel joined my need for healing with the healing that I believe is inherent in creation.
I could not look back at the castle when I left, for fear, for respect. I seldom think about it now because when I do my eyes tear fully remem- bering such fullness. At that moment though, it was smooth and easy in its blessing; pale green, brown rose, yellow, the light set the land dancing.
Now that some time has passed I still have a deep sense of satisfac- tion about this pilgrimage. It is as if the pilgrimage finished something successfully. This is an important juncture. It is true that since then my migraines stopped completely for several years. But there is more. Perhaps the satisfaction lies in the fact that, somehow the whole approach works. It can resolve personal problems of significance and there is indication that it is perhaps a viable means, and empowerment, to address and solve the problems of the world community by this “working” with the gods, the psychic structures of creation within the radiance of absolute divine spirit.
Something else very special happened while I was on pilgrimage to cure my migraines. My beautiful friend Stevie (Stephanie) discovered she was pregnant. I’m the only one she’s ever been with. We both loved the idea of having a baby. We did not want to marry. Our relationship was not a marriage in a traditional sense. But not every significant sex- ual or personal, physical encounter happens in marriage. Our relation- ship is beyond words almost. It is so special to us. Everybody knows about us and many envy our relationship. Even our parents, strict Catholics, have come to accept that there is something special about our friendship. They’ve even stopped asking about details, about… well, you know.
With the baby, I forgot about our ritual to save the world and all that… Not that I stopped believing. I’m happy to be free of migraines. But, save the world? I had to get a job. And help Stevie. I was happy to do it. I could work and finish school. No problem.